It's scary. Really scary. When you talk...when you are asked an opinion...when you attempt to "advise" somebody.
I was asked...today...by a brother...if he is ready for a relationship...How am I to answer? I'm not God...I don't know what is happening in his life, I don't know what he goes through, I don't know what he thinks or so on. There is too many " I don't knows ". My answer to this kind of Questions will usually be you are not.
Why ? Because....If anyone is ready for a relationship, he would not ask anyone if he or she is ready. Only an unready person would ask...for he or she is not sure. That is how I see it.
And surely, that was my answer to him. Did I do something wrong? He been through alot. He is a really dedicated person...I wonder....was it good to do what I did or is keeping quiet a better reaction. Lying is definately not an option. It will hurt more .
He looks haggard today... recent events had a huge toil on him i guess... I can't say I know how he feels or what he has been through. He's not me. I'm not him. I wonder...how could I have better been an encouragement to him.
It's like this....like my father...I'm more objective than feeling based and we are not exactly good in dealing with people. Guess what...I do not know what is sincerity...as in how to you speak with sincerity. It's really sad. Am I suppose to be feeling something when I say something? I can't feel!!!
There was once...in Semester 1. This guy actually declare outrightly...He don't like me . Cause I sounded insincere. ( We are suppose to do some presenting, for communication module) It hurts me alot. I don't think that guy knew how much it hurts. When he said that.
I'm clear on why I say what I say. That's for sure. But when it comes to consoling, I'm at a loss of words. I can't cry with that person. I can't do a thing. Even when I'm asked to. I still remember once....Something happened ...a brother was hurt. He ran out . I followed after him. ( I was a neutral guy in that event ) When I sat beside that crying brother ( older than me), I'm at loss at what to do. I ended up buying him some drinks. Man....When I looked back at all my close to pathetic attempts to help someone....I can see how pathetic I am...I'll never forget what happen.... to Pamela and Daniel . They are the most painful loss I felt. So so so painful....I can't do a thing....I can only watch them die alone....and it's painful...really painful.
There is a wholelist I can name you. A whole list of people given to me. A whole list of people no one ever cared about AND THAT WHOLE LIST OF PEOPLE ENTRUSTED TO ME ......was lost....and you know what. I sat there...watched the inevitable...I watched them die one by one. Each one....became embittered ....walked the path of self destruction...picked up values that I wished no one would picked up and I say : ouched.... can't believe I'm still surviving...in fact thriving well....I could have prayed at least....but....I forgot(shows how much they meant to me) .
I suck at this.
I wanted to wish the best for my brother this morning. I hope I have not hurt him or what...and I'll pray ...and remember to pray that he will hold on. I'm sure he will. At least he is not alone.
Hmmm...I was wondering what to put as my profile when I stumbled upon my friendster...
More About Yu Ki Ki
Schools:
Zhangde Primary School
Tanglin Secondary School
Republic Polytechnic
Occupation: Primary
Child of GOD
Being Me Secondary
A Volunteer in SYFC
Affiliations: Current
Queenstown Lutheran Church (QLC)
QLC Youth Fellowship
Young Adult Fellowship
Commonwealth Care Group
Singapore Youth For Christ (Grad Serve) Ex
Zhangde Primary School
Tanglin Secondary School (TSS)
The Boy's Brigade 26th Coy
TSS Entrepreneur Club
TSS Sports Leaders
TSS Choir
Tanglin Musical: Joseph and the Amazing Technicoloured Dreamcoat
TSS Track and Field
RP Dragonboat.
TRP Campus Crusade For Christ
RP Conservationist IG
RP Trekking IG
Hobbies and Interests:
Running, Reading, Eating,
Singing, Dancing, Acting
Spending time with friends
Collecting Smiles.
Favorite Books (genre):
Bible, Science Fiction, Zoology,
Immunolgy, Disease,
Biographies of People of God.
Favorite Movies (What I look for):
Great storylines, Sci Fic, Action,
Meaningful and Touching ones.
Favorite Music:
I'm ok with most music unless it is too loud or negative.
Favorite TV Shows:
Rarely watched TV now......
About Me:
Currently 19 year old.
Just Graduated from Republic Polytechnic. Got a GPA of 3.61.
Serving as a Grad Servant in Singapore Youth For Christ. Travels from Queenstown to Aljunied and then to the different polys to work
Sharing the Gospel and Challenging Christians to do so is my job.
In desperate need of Exercise...Who wanna jog with me?
Waiting for National Service and hoping to get into the Naval Diving Unit
Am very thankful for a God who is always there and always loving.
Filled with Grace and Mercy.
Is working towards being a man after God's heart.
Hence my chosen baptism name: David.
Thought a lot about my future.
Talked to a few people about it.
Some are encouraging, while some are not.
Knows that the path ahead is not going to be easy...
but you know what?
I'm at peace ...
because I know that the One who holds my future is the One that holds my hands. (Proverbs 3:5-6, Deuteronomy 31:8)
Assured that no matter how much I suffered here on earth, it will be nothing compared to the glory in heaven. =]
Can add me at
LovedbyGodYuKi@gmail.com
See my blog on
http://yukiinsights.blogspot.com
Who I Want to Meet:
Well...I'm ok with anybody. =]
