Still Not there Yet...tired...
Today, I learnt the humbling lesson that I'm still far from being a nice guy. Yeap...
Today's Status...tired...
Anyway, ate a hearty breakfast.
I took over Jimmy for his camera duty...he came late for his ushering. He is suppose to usher and do camera at the same time. which is impossible. Something wrong with the admin. Still, I was kind of disappointed at Jimmy today. Oh wells... it's his choices anyway...
Today, team 2 led God's delight. They did a pretty good job. However, it's not their lesson that caught my main attention during that time. I was more interested in my bu fu qi ness. Haha
So this is what that happened. We had a game. It's Captain's ball but we played it with a rubber duck and players are occasionally called out of the game. I was trying to be laid back...(been doing that for quite awhile...) letting people try out their ideas although I do not agree with it. Well...yeah..that happened. and my team sort of come up with a strategy to throw far. With is sucidal, not because that it is a bad idea...but no one in the team is of that standard. Well...we lost in the end(4-2) and...well I was angry. Haha...yeah. But I caught myself.
I asked myself....woah...hold there dude...it's just a game...you did not have a team of "sports" people anyway, to win is to ask for a miracle. I've been asking myself this question recently...why am I paired up usaully with quiet people or people that don't seemed to be a little bit competitve? You know...it's nice to be in a team where all is hype up and ready to win and can actually win...
BUT HEY! That is off my objective...to win iss ssomething long gone. I should be chasing after such stuff anymore...those times are long gone for me. I should be more interested in people now. And what better way to care then to be with people who will need encouragement to stand up or speak up? I'm forgetting my objectives totally. I'm not here to win ... I'm here to be an encouragement and a pillar to help others to be more confident. I need not all those winnings. So...why so angry and so ...bitter? Yeap...
That's the first issue and learning lesson of the day.
The second lesson...is ...hahaha....a person.
I NEED TO LEARN TO BE NICEEEE.
Cannot talk about it...later get into trouble. LOL
Anyway...I learn that I need to really have more care, love and compassion. It's not about telling them the right thing anymore...It just don't go in. It is not the problem...not the root at least... I believe it to be the manifestation of a bigger problem. And people keep telling me and giving me alot of advices...but seriously...unless you have biblical backings, all you get from me is going to be " I acknowledge your opinions" haha...not that wanna be mean....but seriously...I believe the importance of living according to God words and there's a reason for all things. So if it's just an opinion, it will mean very little to me (haha Science student mah! LOL)
Ok..back to topic...away from unhelpful helpers. But..yeah ...being there is something nice too . I do appreciate...so...thanks! =] Ok...where was I ?
Oh...the need to be a more loving person. Yeap... When I look at myself , I look at this award that I earned during my secondary school life. Something that brought me joy for it had once made me convince that I'm a nice person and therefore can change people's life. It's this "graciousness to accomodate" award...meaning ....a person who can and will accept anyone. Now...it's like a mockery to me. I'm giving by God people who really put me to the limits and showed me how ugly I can really get and seriously....I'm a very nasty person inside.
yeah...lesson 2...I'm not there yet. HAHa =] well...that shall give me a reason to work harder...and...yeah...seriously...God...guard me that I may not end up hating. =] Hate is bad.
Oh! On a brighter note, It's Amandaz birthday today! haha....pretty fun and yeahh.
Happy Birthday! Glad that you have grown so much....Hees...keep growing k? and yeah. Learn to care more for your leaders... they are people that are prone to fail too!
=] And people needing of love and support =]
Hmmm...that's it for today. All vent out le..
And...I realise....there is someone that can make me more nervous than usual. More aware of my actions and failures... Someone that I'm currently super worried about...cos...I fear something might happen...to that person...
Hmm... Haiz...so pressuring....I fear of stumbling people like that...argghhh....God guard that person!!! Bless , protect and keep that person close to you...they are just so rare....
Tommorrow!! JEROME ! YOU ARE MINE!!! HAHAHAHAHA Where's Samuel? My prayer partner?