Mixed Feelings.
My heart is heavy with mixed feelings...
Currently grief is the predominant feeling. Well... it was not like this but before I share I shall talk about the happier moment.
Today was a fun day. Sharon was in the same team as me! Haha...She's mentioned last week that there might be an unfortunate possibility that she ended up in the same team as me when we change our teams this week. I told her that her wish may be granted. Well... it was haha.
However, what shock me today was that Gienah joined my team too. I had expected Brian. I was looking hopefully at him but ...I guess he wanted me to call out to him. However, before I did that, Gienah (Whom I expected to join Grace's team[Cos they are like...erm...close friends?) came over and sat in our team. I was like...wow...this is going to be an interesting development.
Gienah is of course more than welcomed in the team.
Anyway, today's lesson went pretty well. Although I was tired enough to be lost of a while but I managed to pull through alive. I contacted my PEP group. Reminding them that we are sharing the Gospel later. I had good new in the morning that Dion (a really busy member will be able to join us). It was a really great encouragement.Later however, Dion was unable to join as FYP held him back. Thiam Heng was also unable to join us as he has a disciple group meeting. Well... It end up with Tengyu(Thank You for your Faithfulness) who has test and me who have FYP. I have a great temptation of postponing it. I felt like postponing my gospel sharing to thursday with Amos's PEP.
Although God has been telling me and warning me that the evil one is at work real hard against the PEP now, I sent a message... a message to ask Tengyu if he wants to shift the gospel sharing to thursday. I thank God that He intervene...haha...I really can't do much thing right. Well...hearing that shifting to thursday will equate to Tengyu missing out on Gospel sharing because he has fyp, I quickly and painfully decided that we have gospel sharing today and Thiam Heng to join Amos's PEP on Thursday. So I told my FYP mates; Estella and Raymond (Thank You all for being loving and understanding) that I'll be going off to share the Gospel. They gave me their blessings and I left. It's great to have brothers and sisters like Raymond and Estella. They have been a great blessing in my life and a constant encouragement against discouraging Christians.
I set off... heavy at heart. I'm nervous. The last sharing was a failure. I went to the library and printed out the sharing materials. I proceed to meet Tengyu. Well... I decided to go to the PEP meeting place. Something that I normally would not have done...but praise God for that heavy spirit I had that I was burdened to find somewhere that we can have a comfortable time praying.
Tengyu shared his day and boy..they are tough too. Both of us need prayer. Haha...but... Lo andd behold...we met Carmen's PEP! Ian was there! Which was a surprise too. I decided to pull him out from the PEP so that he can go out and share the Gospel with us. I believe he would wanted that too. So after asking Carmen to invite her PEP members to an exciting upcoming event on 3rd november, I asked Ian to joined us. He readily accepted.(Oh...Ian is an answered prayer and a huge blessing in my life also)
We heard that Ian's Grandad who is not yet saved had been admited to the hospital because of cancer. (Brothers and Sisters! PRAY for Salvation! and healing) So we all prayed for each other after a hearty sharing. Then I had a vision of sharing to 4 people. I printed 4 of the sharing materials too! To cut the long story short, Tengyu and I had a great time sharing with 4 year 1 students at a go. It was great ... my sharing skills are ragged now but I pray that God will help the seed grow! In those young people's lives.
Tengyu and I went home encouraged and recharged (we expected to be drained) something to really thank God for. I learn something however, I need to remember the miracles God has done in my life so that I can share them but again God told me in the train that it is not the miracles that persuade people to know the one true God.
I reached home...and yeah..that's where the grief started...and yeap I'm not going to write about it because I don't think it will please God. He has shown enough signs to tell me not to. So....bleahh....too bad!! Hahaahaha....