Lone Wolf
Lone Wolf
Went blood donation today. Was my first time.
Is my fear and is still an unconquered barrier but I'm scaling it! It won't be long. I'll overcome this fear ... just as I have overcame Heights and Prawns
I have the fear of drawing blood. It's an irrational fear. A fear that makes no sense . A fear that exist without meaning or reason. It does nothing but to immoblise and weaken me.
Today! I'm of age. I confronted it head on.
I started by asking for people to go with me. I was of course hoping for people to stand by me...but....like most of the time (no longer all the time ) I'm alone.
So I walked to the counter. But was asked to eat first...diao.... So I went to eat and returned....(Anti Climax right? haha)
I entered.
Filled the forms...went through the Doctors. I was scared...Was a bit of clumsy too.
Then I reach the counter that test whether your blood contains enough Iron. The first blood shedding took place here. The nurse swab my finger with Alcohol. Then she use so weird thing to puncture my skin. Blood pour out. she uses what I thought was a yakult straw to draw my blood.
I dismissed the idea later....It should be some straw..but not yakult...dots...what was I thinking...
It was disgusting. the nurse squeezed my finger and the blood kept squirting out. Then the took the blood. It flow into the straw! HOW THAT HAPPEN? How she suck my blood with the straw? I see no vaccuum. LOL!
Anyway the interesting thing come next. She drop my blood into a clear blue solution. Not much different from a copper sulphate solution. If my blood sinks, it means that thee is enough iron...if not, I'm not ironed enough.
I watch as my blood sink...to join many droplets below...yuck.
I proceed..to the last stage. I lie on the couch thingy. I am really scare. I felt restless and agitated. I wished and hope for someone to be there....well..I got no one except the One who is always there..
Did a litle chit chat with God.
I felt like crying...I am very afriad...Oh...for your info...this was my biggest fear. HAhaz...Never thought that I fear something huh? WeLL PEOPLE ! NOW YOU KNOW!
The nurse came. Injected the painkiller ..I winced...The the huge needle....but the pain killer did it's work and I felt nothing. But Like I say...I don't fear the pain. I fear the drawing blood. I forced my self to look at the blood flow. The nurse was drawing around 7 test tubes for testing. I saw my blood flow like liquid into it....so much....I looked away a few times....Horrified...but I always turn back....I must beat it.
Even as I blog, I feel sick. I went through the ordeal.....20+ minutes....
I had difficulty breathing my heartbeat was eminent in my hearts..it seems weak and irregular....fear seems to stop scaring me and start choking me. I felt paralysed. Strangly annoyance could not find strength to raise it's ugly head.
Then my hand started to go numb. Fear gripped hard this time.I raise my hand to summon a nurse. She came and hurriedly stop the tranfusion. It's done. My vision turned white. My head felt light. My whole arm is numb.
The nurse readjust the couch so that my legs are higher than my head. I felt really cold...Was close to delirious. All I could think of is that I'm hungry and thirsty. Wasn't given water through...I was left to try stabilise my thoughts. I took...around 10+ minutes to recover.
Weak sia...but soon..I'll be stronger...with repeated tries to donate blood...and then I'll conquer this fear! People will benefit too!
I don't know...but I have this bugging feeling that something in my blood will harm the reciever....dun know....autoimmune response? hahaz
Wahaha..Ariel says I put alot of negative things. Oops.... hahaz... Must put good things le....not that good things don't happen. I realise that I focus alot on bad happenings. I have so much to thank for.
Beautiful Class
First ever Blood Donation
A friend to walk to school with.
Macdonald breakfast( long time lor)
In the Course I want
Life in safely in God's hands
He who is strong stands by me Deut 31:8
Many many more....
SO ARIEL!! THANK YOU FOR THE CONCERN! GOD BLESS YOU!! ME CHIA CHEER UP LE!
*SMileS*
BOOOOOO!!
Hahaz....Faint right?