Rage's a joke....a dangerous joke.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep and fatigue.
I'm miore irritatable now and sharper at my words.
Well ....gotta watch out....coz I does wanna do harm to anybody.
Guess what? I forgot what I wanna type... Perfect. I cannot REMEMBER ANY BAD THINGS PEOPLE DO TO ME!!!! This is so irritating....It's impossible to bear a grudge if you can't remember the reason you want to bear a grudge ...you will be like ...
: I hate you
: Why?
: For Something you did to me before.
: What did I do?
: I don't know. I forgot.
:?!?!?!?!
Ya you get the idea? Anyway ...not that I want to bear grudge hahaz.
Still, Mom said something rather silly today. She said that when we are all grown up the dog wil be the only thing accompanying her.
My first reaction : The dog won't live that long.
Bad reaction...hahaz....Well that did annoyed her but hey....I'm annoyed too.
After all I've done and after all you have given me. Is that the kind of ending you want?
A dog that can only fetch balls to be your companion?? That Dog don't even know when to run.
That is a foolish thought. A Stupid Thought. I've given up so many things. My dreams and aspiration. I suppressed myself. Something I hate most. Just TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER. I STARVED MYSELF TOO. SO THAT YOU ALL HAVE MONEY TO SPENT AND HAVE FUN!!!
I know we are not well to do . THAT"S WHY I"M DOING ALL THIS AND NOW YOU ARE SINGING THIS NONSENSE TO ME. DO you know how that hurts?
I love you all so much but loving you all is so painful so draining....
This is all like some sick joke.
I guess...life is this bitter.Gotta stand at your own two feet and carry everybody who just don't believe that they can stand. Glad that I know God .....Wonder how will it be like if I have not know God.
Still....there is sadder news..... My dear friend.....had lost her faith...wel...I don't blame her...she has been through alot and her faith wasn't exactly there. Quite expected. It's like why continue to pursue what you never thought was real?
I felt so sad for my friend. She is a great person. Can never stop laughing around her and her friends. Hahaz...we are all jokers. I just wish...that ya...she will truely receive the Lord one day.
This brings me to think about how many of us Christains are actually Christians.
By the way a Christian is not defined by one who :
1) Goes Church
2) Sing Song
3) Prayer
4) Talk about Christ
A Christian is someone who have recieved Christ and believes in him. So much that God is very real in his/her life that he/she will display Christ-likeness in himself/herself.
Even I Gotta say....that I've not the reverence for God but I'll push on. I must push on. For not only myself....but also those around me and of course for the love of God.
This brought me to think about the DREAM HOUSE topic I was chatting with my friend about.
I realised...that of all that is mentioned, there is no place for God....
This will be my new Dream house.
A Place that we can be with God and to spent time with God . Knowing and understanding Him. Where Questions will be cleared. Whereby we can see God and be Him.I just felt like I've failed many people...Have not done enough and put in enough effort for those around me. My Friends I wish you all well. Take Care...My dear friend...May you know God personally ...soon....